I decided a few weeks ago that I am going to pursue teaching elementary school. Yes folks--I, Erin Williams, who has been wishy washy on the subject for several years now, have decided to become Miss Williams to a class of young minds just waiting to be molded. Or at least attempt to pursue a job in that field.
My internship with Cru ends April 1st. I'm a little torn about whether I'm looking forward to that date, or dreading it. I think I'm somewhere in the middle which might not be a bad thing. Perhaps that just shows that I'm content with my job right now. Yesterday was a great day. I met with three of my girls, each of whom have demonstrated an incredible faith in God over the past year. I will certainly miss the encouragement they bring into my life each week. Here's a picture of Julia, one of the bright spots in my life right now:
I think teaching will be a new challenge to me, though. I have to learn to be professional--something I'm really not without trying. I have to go through the process of "selling myself" to an employer during an interview, a process I'm not quite sure I'm comfortable with or even agree with. I prefer to be honest about who I am, but after the training I've received in interviewing, I get the impression that I must "brag" on myself, at least to some degree. And of course being a first year teacher will pose several new challenges--dealing with parents, keeping each student's needs straight, teaching effectively, teaching creatively, learning how to deal with less personal time than I've grown accustomed to. I just did the initial application screening process for a school district not too far from here--it resurfaced many of these fears I once had about teaching.
So about 45 minutes ago I came home from an interview with my old boss at a school I taught at throughout college. She's offering me a job that will hold me over from April till I *hopefully* start teaching at a public school in the Fall. I said earlier that my stomach is in knots because I just wonder if this is the path I am supposed to go down. It's so perfect how this all worked out. She just had a need open up within the building and will need someone around the week that I can start. It's a full time position and I'll get health benefits--she's even going to see about getting the benefits to me a month earlier than normal. I guess I'm just feeling anxious because I never saw my life going in this direction. I thought I'd be moving overseas or doing something "exciting" in the eyes of other people around me. Although, according to a teacher friend of mine, I am a superstar to the students I work with. Maybe that's better than being "cool" in the eyes of my peers.
These transition years of life are not always easy. I used to think that I never wanted to settle down and have a so-called normal life. I know I don't want my life to be ordinary, but all this change throughout the past 5 or so years can really build up to a bundle of stress. I'm ready to just settle down for a little while, build relationships with people that I know will be around for a while, and feel like a real adult.
Know what I mean?
