I decided a few weeks ago that I am going to pursue teaching elementary school. Yes folks--I, Erin Williams, who has been wishy washy on the subject for several years now, have decided to become Miss Williams to a class of young minds just waiting to be molded. Or at least attempt to pursue a job in that field.
My internship with Cru ends April 1st. I'm a little torn about whether I'm looking forward to that date, or dreading it. I think I'm somewhere in the middle which might not be a bad thing. Perhaps that just shows that I'm content with my job right now. Yesterday was a great day. I met with three of my girls, each of whom have demonstrated an incredible faith in God over the past year. I will certainly miss the encouragement they bring into my life each week. Here's a picture of Julia, one of the bright spots in my life right now:
I think teaching will be a new challenge to me, though. I have to learn to be professional--something I'm really not without trying. I have to go through the process of "selling myself" to an employer during an interview, a process I'm not quite sure I'm comfortable with or even agree with. I prefer to be honest about who I am, but after the training I've received in interviewing, I get the impression that I must "brag" on myself, at least to some degree. And of course being a first year teacher will pose several new challenges--dealing with parents, keeping each student's needs straight, teaching effectively, teaching creatively, learning how to deal with less personal time than I've grown accustomed to. I just did the initial application screening process for a school district not too far from here--it resurfaced many of these fears I once had about teaching.
So about 45 minutes ago I came home from an interview with my old boss at a school I taught at throughout college. She's offering me a job that will hold me over from April till I *hopefully* start teaching at a public school in the Fall. I said earlier that my stomach is in knots because I just wonder if this is the path I am supposed to go down. It's so perfect how this all worked out. She just had a need open up within the building and will need someone around the week that I can start. It's a full time position and I'll get health benefits--she's even going to see about getting the benefits to me a month earlier than normal. I guess I'm just feeling anxious because I never saw my life going in this direction. I thought I'd be moving overseas or doing something "exciting" in the eyes of other people around me. Although, according to a teacher friend of mine, I am a superstar to the students I work with. Maybe that's better than being "cool" in the eyes of my peers.
These transition years of life are not always easy. I used to think that I never wanted to settle down and have a so-called normal life. I know I don't want my life to be ordinary, but all this change throughout the past 5 or so years can really build up to a bundle of stress. I'm ready to just settle down for a little while, build relationships with people that I know will be around for a while, and feel like a real adult.
Know what I mean?
2 comments:
Hey! I think it's great that you're going to pursue teaching. Maybe we'll finally get to have our classes together :-). Where will you be working in April? Also it's really easy to get employed by STS- who Dtown uses to sub and you would definately be busy subbing. And you're always welcome to visit me in my class that I'll have for the rest of the school year :-D We should def hang out sometime soon! We can talk about the wonders of trying to get a public school job :-P
~Becca
First of all, I love you. Secondly, I really believe that no matter what you do, it will all work out. I don't believe that there is "one true path" for anyone, at least not in the traditional sense. What a great amount of pressure that is! No, I don't believe there is "one true path," a matter of being right or wrong . I honestly believe that wherever you are, that is where you are supposed to be. And whatever you are doing, that's exactly what you're supposed to be doing. Each moment in time takes you to the next, and everything and everyone is connected in ways we can't even imagine. Just trust that wherever you go, whatever you do, you will be taken care of.
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